try being empathetic FOR ONCE.

i went to spanish class and i was just thinking about who exactly is so interested in my blog posts.. i'm pretty much putting my money on my fat sister. she seems to think that we have this kewliez sistas relationship with each other. bitch- i haven't spoke to you in at least a few months- i don't even remember when. stop motivating mom to stalk me. i've never had a close relationship with EITHER of you and never really wanted one. you're just acting as weights on my progression in life. IF ANYONE from my close family would wanna speak to me- it'd be my brother because we both have the same calmness, "i don't know- whatever.." attitude (NONCHALANT) as each other AND we share the same interests/hobbies. i'm intelligent enough to realize that HE has HIS OWN life and the LAST thing he needs is for his big sister to annoy him when he OBVIOUSLY has HIS OWN life. it's not gonna help him AT ALL and i'm NOT gonna get anything outta it but probably a very irritated, pissed off brother. DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHERE I AM COMING FROM? DO YOU TWO GET THE FUCKING HINT?! you two are too fucking stupid to realize that though. i shouldn't have to put up with this shit. go play board games or cards with each other when you get bored. do something CONSTRUCTIVE which doesn't involve me. don't think i'm just kidding about making both of your lives a living hell if MY goals don't work for me because my mom is too damn attached and i KNOW my sister reads my blog like it's the newspaper because she coincidentally calls me at times when i blog about something she thinks she can relate with. MOM- YOU NEVER CARED ABOUT ME WHEN YOU WENT TO THE BAR AND PLAYED POOL, LEAVING ME AT YOUR HOUSE WHEN I WAS IN A DAMN WHEELCHAIR ALONE. STOP PRETENDING LIKE YOU ACTUALLY FUCKING CARE AT YOUR OWN DAMN CONVENIENCE. stop acting like you care so amanda has more of a reason to act fucking neglectful and UNSUPPORTIVE. IF she reads this (like i'm sure my whole family does), she has knowledge of my mom's record of NEGLECT and she's just ENABLING it by refusing to help me move somewhere i can be TRULY constructive (i'm not talking about being a mindless rehabilitation tool for ridiculous excuses of "rehabilitation" institutes who prey on clients who are unadvocated for but still HIGHLY motivated). IF that's your idea of being truly constructive- YOU DO IT. quit your "profession" at the salon and go to the courage center and they can't do anything but stick you on that fucking nu-step machine EVERY fuckin day you go there. THEY TOTALLY IGNORE YOUR ATTEMPTS TO GET YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE AGAIN- INCLUDING THE FACT THAT YOU PAID OUTTA POCKET FOR BEHIND-THE-WHEEL LESSONS AFTER THE COURAGE CENTER FAILED YOU THREE TIMES AT THEIR DRIVING CLASS BUT THE INSTRUCTOR OF THE DRIVING LESSONS CLASS YOU PAID FOR SAID YOU WERE SAFE TO DRIVE AND GET A VEHICLE TO TAKE YOUR BEHIND-THE-WHEEL LICENSE TEST. BUT.. BUT.. I HAVE A TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY SO THAT MEANS I'M TOO STUPID TO DRIVE, RIGHT AMANDA?! THAT'S ALL I AM TO YOU. IS A HANDICAPPED OVER CONFIDENT IDIOT WHO THINKS THEY CAN DO WHAT THEY WANT. ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU AND DUSTIN LAUGHED ABOUT WHEN TALKING ABOUT ME? SINCE YOU BOTH KNOW SO FUCKING MUCH. ALL I'M GOOD FOR IS TAKING YOU DICKS TO A CONCERT WITH ME. NOTHING MORE. i was just thinking.. i'm pretty sure that my grandma told me when she was alive that even her neighbor (who was born mentally disabled) has his driver's license. so EVEN other disabled people- who i'm pretty sure they're in a worse condition than i am- HAS his driver's license but oh! i get a traumatic brain injury from a car accident and all of a sudden i don't get the opportunity to do things that other people my age get to do on a normal basis. just shows me my LACK of respect and support i receive from my family to help me become truly happy and successful because IT'S NOT CONVENIENT FOR THEM! BUT "I GOT THIS"! *ROLLS EYES* I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU THINK I DO TO GET THE THINGS THAT I BARELY MANAGE TO GET. I'M SURE I COULD BE A LOT FURTHER IF I HAD ANY ADVOCACY BUT- I GOT THIS! tell me that shit the next time YOU get a TBI and your ONLY advocate dies.